“我这么乖这么美 为什么还是没有男朋友”
小普要放大招了，今天，咱们来谈一个高端的话题，那就是觉得自己又乖又美，可为什么没！有！男！朋！友！（好吧，有蓝盆友的同学可以退场了，哈哈，开个玩笑）
先跟大家分享一个25岁的女孩写的一封信，她是这样说的：
Dear Evan,
亲爱的埃文，
I am 25 years old and have never been in a serious relationship. I am a very attractive girl and I tend to meet guys easily and go on dates mostly every weekend. My problem is that it never leads to anything more than that. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, but the date will go really well and things tend to either move really slow, I won’t hear from them after our date for a week or so, or not at all.
我今年25了，从来没有谈过一次认真的恋爱。在男生看来，我很招人喜欢，所以我能轻易地约到男生，和他们周末出去约会。但是，我有个问题，我们总是止步于此，没有更进一步的发展。我不知道到底做错了什么，约会那天氛围明明非常好，但那天过后的一周，甚至更长的时间里，我们就断了联系。
My friends all have boyfriends, and I’m really looking to settle down. Can you help me? By the way, it never gets farther than kissing with me. I realize that if they don’t stick around because I won’t have sex with them, then at least I know. It just seems that’s all they are looking for. It seems that attractive girls only get guys that want to sleep with them.
我的朋友们都有男朋友，我也真得很想找到心上人安定下来。你能帮帮我吗？顺便提一句，我们除了接吻没有更深的发展。还有，如果我不和他啪啪啪的话，他就会一直黏着你。但这又好像正是他们想要的。似乎漂亮女孩找到的只是想睡你的男生。
Why can’t I meet a guy who sees me as more?
为什么我遇不到一个更了解我的男生呢？
这位情感人士是这样给她回应的：
Today, I’m going to take a controversial stance. I’m going heap some sympathy on the pretty girl.
今天，我的立场可能会引起争议。因为我很同情这些漂亮姑娘。
Does the pretty girl have the same issues as the fat girl? No. The pretty girl never lacks for attention. Heads turn when she walks into the room. Men leap to attention and whisper to each other before approaching. Yes, the pretty girl has more dates than she needs and probably has a waiting list a mile long. What could possibly be wrong with this scenario?
漂亮的姑娘会碰到和肉肉的女孩一样的问题吗？答案是不会。漂亮的女孩从来不缺关注度。当她走进房间的时候有无数双眼睛在关注她。在靠近她之前男人们都窃窃私语以引起注意。的确，漂亮的女孩们有着更多的约会，她们追求者的名单可能会有一英里长。可是，这种情形有错么？
By being singled out for being attractive, you’re never, ever considered “normal.”
漂亮女孩还单着，别人从来不会认为她很”正常”
Well, if you’re a pretty girl or you know a pretty girl, you know exactly what’s wrong.
但，如果你是一个漂亮姑娘或者你认识这么一个很漂亮的姑娘，你就会明白，你之前的想法大错特错。
You’re an object to men.
你只是男人的一个对象.
You never know why someone likes you.
你永远不知道为什么有人喜欢你。
You can be intimidating without trying.
没有尝试你会害怕。
You can come across as aloof even if you’re just shy.
即使你只是比较害羞，但你可能会给别人一种冷漠的印象。
You’re instantly hated by a lot of other women.
你随即会遭到其他女人的嫉妒
You’re assumed to be dumb by many men.
许多男人认为你在装聋作哑愚弄他们
You may be insecure, but people have trouble believing it.
你可能只是缺乏安全感,但是没有人相信你
You’re catered to so frequently that you may lack some kindness, empathy or social grace. By the way. Except they get to claim “diva” status. You’re just known as a bitch.
你一直被别人讨好迎合以至于现在的你缺少了一些善良，同情还有社交风度。顺便提一句，明星们也因此备受折磨。但有所不同的是她们被人称为”天后”，而你只会被人叫做”碧池”。
...... ....... ......
有时候，在别人看来，长得漂亮的女孩一直单身可能真的觉得有点不可思议，但其实，只有她们自己懂得她们真正要的是什么，但不一定所有的女孩都是这样，美国的《Manolith》关于又乖又美的女孩为什么一直单身给出了这些理由，看看你中枪了吗
You like players. You say you want a nice guy, but you fall for the same lines again and again. You can’t resist the bad boys, the ones who have dumped on other women. You think that you will be different, that nabbing a player will validate your feminine powers. But the player always wins, because the player always walks.
被恋爱游戏高手吸引。虽然你说你要找一个对你好的人，但却总是一次又一次地摔在同一个地方，你无法抗拒那些心思总在别的女人身上的花花公子，你觉得自己对他来说是跟别人不一样的，他会发现你的独特魅力的。可你永远是输家，因为他们总会离开。
You’re a princess. You want a man who will proclaim to the world that he is whipped as butter. He will worship the very ground you walk on. Trouble is, the only men who will happily inhabit a one-down position in a relationship have no balls. Do you really want a guy who will eagerly go to a bunch of chick flicks with you? Wouldn’t you rather accompany him to Transformers from time to time?
会犯公主病。你一直要找一个愿意为你所屈服的男人，时常拜倒在你脚下，但问题是，能够乐意在一段恋爱关系中长期处于这种卑微的地位，你不觉得这样的男人很没种吗？你真的想要找一个期待陪你去看浪漫喜剧的男人，而不是你有空了陪他去看《变形金刚》？
You’re not in the game. If you’re shy, reserved, or aloof, you are not approachable. Many beautiful women are ignored by guys because the odds of rejection are too high. If you find a guy attractive, meet him halfway by signaling your interest with eye contact and a smile. If you know him, pay him some attention.
你抗拒进入恋爱中。如果你腼腆，含蓄，又或者冷漠，你会给人一种难以接近的感觉。许多漂亮女性单身的原因都是追随者被拒绝的可能性太高了，如果你真的找到一个有魅力的异性，相遇时你可以通过眼神交流或者用一个微笑来传达你的爱意。如果你认识他的话，那就多注意一下他。
You’re too picky. You want a guy who is well-educated, financially successful, handsome, funny, witty, generous, blah blah blah. You want a 10. Get realistic. How about well-educated, funny and generous? Or handsome and witty, but a poet? Perhaps financially successful, generous and fun to be with, but never went to college? Keep an open mind when you’re sizing up men. Allow yourself to find the good.
你太挑了。你总是想要一个十好男人，受过高等教育、成功商业人士、英俊、幽默、机智、慷慨等等等等。现实点吧，受过良好教育，风趣，慷慨怎么样呢？又或者英俊，机智，还有才华怎么样？也许有一个成功商业人士，他慷慨有很风趣，但是没有上过大学，你又会怎么选择？当你在估量一个男人时，不要让这些传统的思想禁锢了你。给自己一个机会去找一个适合你的伴侣。
You’re a homebody. You’re not out there meeting new people every day. You are not going through each day looking to interact with and smile at attractive and approachable people. And by the way, get off the cell phone. The adorable guy behind you in line at Starbucks can’t say hi if you’re on your phone, plus he’s hearing you sound like a complete idiot with your BFF.
你是一个宅女。天天足不出户，认识不到新朋友。那么即使有一个魅力十足，又平易近人的男人，你也不会有机会跟他交流或者给他一个微笑。提醒一下你，放下手机，没准在星巴克排队时，你背后就有一个充满魅力的男人，如果你一直将注意力放在手机上，那他也不能跟你say嗨呀，有可能在你跟闺蜜打电话时，他还会觉得你听起来会像一个十足的傻瓜。
You’re scared. You’ve been burned before. You are understandably wary. This leads you to be withholding. He puts it out there, lays it on the line, and you just can’t reciprocate. You really like him, but you just don’t want to get hurt again. This means he knows up front that he will be the one to get hurt. No guy will stick around to watch that happen. You’ve got to find a way forward. There is no love for any of us without considerable risk, so do what you need to do to work through it.
你害怕了。你之前为爱受伤过，所以你这么警惕也是可以理解的，可是这也会让你停止不前，他已经将爱意抛出，也敢于冒这个风险，但你却不能给予回应。也许你真的对他很有好感，可你怕再受到伤害。这就意味着他会成为那个被伤害的人了。没有男人会一直傻傻等着这个结果的发生。你必须向前看，如果不敢冒风险，对于任何人，都不会得到真爱，所以想要过这个难关，你就要勇敢地迈出这一步。
所以，小普想要告诉大家，如果遇到真爱，就勇敢出手。真爱面前，你也可以主动。
（英文材料来自evanmarckatz , hookingupsmart 翻译：张佳祥 Aimee 编辑： Aimee）